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  • Santa Claus

    I have a confession. I hate Santa Claus. As the parent of a small son, I should really enjoy the magic of the Christmas holidays. But I don't. You see, my son is six and he is autism spectrum and has a scientific mind. Every year, while other children are excited about the magic of Santa, my son looks at me with a scientific eye and wonders if I'm feeding him just one big line of bullshit. And, I am.

    When my son was two, he wanted the Christmas tree decorated on our front porch because he quite understandably didn't want a strange, old man in the house. When he was three, he started doing experiments off the bunk bed with a reindeer toy to test the aerodynamics of the ridiculous proposition that reindeer actually fly. When he was four, he was upset at the unfairness that our Jewish friends didn't get toys, so he asked Santa to bring their toys to our house; he could deduce no reason why Santa would discriminate based on religion. At age five, he came up with a complex theory about how Santa "knows when you’ve been sleeping,” and “knows when you’re awake.” And, this past Christmas he questioned whether Santa might actually have a tardis - because, you know, that would make his job quite a bit easier.

    My clever son was very close to figuring things out, and I can't wait until I can tell him. But, I don't want to be the mom who ruins it for the rest of the kids in first grade by sharing the news. The news that Santa Claus is bullshit.

    submitted by jenny